{"id":140,"date":"2010-10-08T06:38:09","date_gmt":"2010-10-08T15:38:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elaborate.net.au\/flyfishing\/?p=140"},"modified":"2010-10-30T20:02:27","modified_gmt":"2010-10-31T05:02:27","slug":"mars-and-venus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.elaborate.net.au\/flyfishing\/mars-and-venus\/","title":{"rendered":"Mars and Venus"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I\u2019ve a learned a little about fly fishing in the past 20 years, most of it from other men, in groups of two or three.<\/p>\n

But men in small hunting groups can be driven, self-destructive creatures. After a hard day, pounding the mossy rocks in pursuit of truculent brown trout, we\u2019ll often camp out rough, eat baked beans, drink bad rum, smoke good cigars, make up fishing stories and tell blokey jokes. Let\u2019s face it, sometimes the fishing stories ARE the jokes.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ll all smell a bit afterwards, but we\u2019ll enjoy the sheer blokiness of it \u2013 if not the odour. It\u2019s a Mars thing.<\/p>\n

Women however, are far too intelligent to bother with this sort of macho bonding, and prefer an entirely different sort of fishing trip.<\/p>\n

I know this, because in my autumnal years, I\u2019ve found a woman who, for reasons which none of my friends (or hers) can fathom, wants to share her life with me, including the fly-fishing.<\/p>\n

As a result, I\u2019m sorry to admit fellas, I\u2019ve found the fishing and the associated travel experience on Venus, can be a lot more civilized and enjoyable.<\/p>\n

And you smell a lot better, although it must be said that the cigars and cheap rum do keep the mossies and midges at bay. Well, the cigars usually do that; the rum just makes you forget about the bites from the ones that get through that wonderful damp leafy bouquet from your Cohiba esplindidos. Not that I miss them still, you understand.<\/p>\n

So, I\u2019ve collected some words of advice for all my unreconstructed mates, written from a Mars\u2019 perspective, for them to understand more easily. So listen up, chimps.<\/p>\n

Here are my ten practical suggestions for your first fly-fishing trip avec spouse:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Give in on everything straight away. It will save time, in the long run. <\/em><\/li>\n
  2. Shop a lot, before you fish. This is basic retail therapy for women. Men do the same thing at tackle shops, but we call it buying essential equipment. Buy a hip flask while you\u2019re at it.<\/em><\/li>\n
  3. Help your partner to choose the right gear, including things like thermal socks, for wet water wading and a decent vest. No cheap gear or hand me downs allowed. She won\u2019t like using that old fly rod you take in case your new one breaks. Do not even hint it might have been used by your ex wife. Life is too short. Far too short.<\/em><\/li>\n
  4. Book for comfort. Women on vacation expect to sleep on a proper bed and use a flushing toilet. No camping allowed and baths are essential for that relaxing soak… as if you haven\u2019t been in water all day.<\/em><\/li>\n
  5. Spa during the fishing trip. We need to review and learn, to fully benefit from the experience. Apparently. <\/em><\/li>\n
  6. Get a female fly fishing guide. Most male guides are alpha males, your natural hunters. If they could sneak up on the trout and dong them on the head with the butt of the fly rod, they probably would. But female guides tend to see fishing as a gathering type of activity, a matter of weighing skill against probability. Like I said, women are smarter. <\/em><\/li>\n
  7. Do not offer suggestions, or words of consolation at missed opportunities with the fly rod. Say absolutely nothing, and leave it to the guide. Remember you bought that hip flask. <\/em><\/li>\n
  8. Sleep in late sometimes. Women cannot understand the importance of getting up at 4.30 am, to catch the early rise, if they are on holidays. And they have an entirely different interpretation of the morning rise, so you may as well enjoy it. <\/em><\/li>\n
  9. No bad booze, no cheap cigars, no baked beans, no blokey jokes. When you\u2019re relaxing over a fine port and a game of billiards in the lodge, after the pate and roast venison, accompanied by a chilled Moet, you tend not to miss baked beans and cheap rum, especially when the footy is on cable back at the lodge, afterwards. <\/em><\/li>\n
  10. Take time out to relax, after the fishing trip. Any day spent relaxing with the woman you love, is a good day, even if you\u2019re not fishing.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Picture by Carol Harwood. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I\u2019ve a learned a little about fly fishing in the past 20 years, most of it from other men, in groups of two or three. But men in small hunting groups can be driven, self-destructive creatures. After a hard day, pounding the mossy rocks in pursuit of truculent brown trout, we\u2019ll often camp out rough, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"powered_cache_disable_cache":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-140","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tips-and-tricks"],"yoast_head":"\nMars and Venus - Recreational Research<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.elaborate.net.au\/flyfishing\/mars-and-venus\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mars and Venus - Recreational Research\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u2019ve a learned a little about fly fishing in the past 20 years, most of it from other men, in groups of two or three. 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